When being the mom means being the boss

August 16, 2017

Motherhood is about sacrifices. We sacrifice our bodies. We sacrifice our careers. We sacrifice our free-time, interests, hobbies, privacy, girls nights out, slow quiet mornings, stain free clothes, and pretty much anything else you held dear before cranking out a bunch of tiny humans that somewhat resemble a less tired version of yourself.

But motherhood isn't all bad.

Is your child eating healthy enough?

August 15, 2017

They refuse everything you give them. You long for the days of old when a boob would suffice and you knew they were getting all the nutrients they needed. You worry that they aren't getting enough calcium or potassium. Oh crap! What about iron? Do you think they are getting enough iron?

Before having kids, you promised you wouldn't give your offspring Mac & Cheese every night. Instead, they'd be "cultured" and would like things like curry and sushi (at least the unauthentic cooked kind). Now you *actually* have kids and they don't eat squat.

Pregnancy After Loss | #MyMommingStory

August 14, 2017

Pregnancy after loss - for some reason I was in denial that the possibility of a miscarriage would happen to me... until it happened. I ended up having a d and c and after that was planning on waiting a few months to start trying again and then BAM... pregnant, about 2 weeks after the procedure.

I wasn't filled with excitement or the tears of happiness that I was with my first. I instantly felt anxiety and my head filled with all the 'what ifs' and it didn't go away until my son was in my arms. I never felt like I would actually get my baby. Ultrasounds were the worst for me (that's how I found out I lost my first), I went in blissfully unaware anything was wrong.

Embracing slow in a world that says "GO!"

August 10, 2017

As a parent I want the best for my children, but I am exhausted by all of the things our culture tells us our kids need to do in order to succeed. I look at my social feed and see my peers with their toddlers and preschoolers talking about preschool applications or shuffling their littles from dance to swimming to soccer. And I wonder, am I missing the mark?

How to get past the struggle of bedtime

August 8, 2017

Bedtime and Naptime have been a major struggle at our house the past couple of weeks. In that everyone is refusing to do it.

I don't know what it is about these times of day that is so draining, but they are. By the end of the day, the grace has run out. The prospect of sitting with a glass of wine, watching a show without any educational value is just around the corner, but these little people won't let you! They know life goes on after they are in bed and they are struggling with major #FOMO

No one tells you about the anxiety that comes with motherhood

August 7, 2017

My whole life I dreamt of being a mom. It's literally all I've ever wanted to do in life. I prayed for a sweet baby that I could love and play with and raise with my amazing husband.

I never understood the phrase "That's my name, don't wear it out" until my name was MOM | @mommingishard | mommingishard.com

To anyone named MOM

August 4, 2017

Mom. MOM. MOOOooooOooooOOOOOOM!

I see you, mama. Hiding in the shower, eating chocolate so your body can have the sugar it needs to not lose your shit. Maybe if you wait it out, they will fall asleep. Obviously that is a joke, because in what universe do your children ever fall asleep?! It is reasonable to assume that they may forget what they needed your help with and get distracted with something else. Here's to hoping.

For the mama who has kids who are as different as night and day

August 3, 2017

I once was a mom of #2under2. That had it's many challenges. It's like having 2 babies, but babies who have different needs and are in two totally different developmental stages. In that first 6 months of having two under two, we all cried every single day. Then once my little one turned 1, it started to get easier and every day after that got easier and easier.

My kids are now 2 and 3 and they are BFFs, except when they are not.

For the Free-Spirited mom of a Type-A Child

August 2, 2017

I am a very "go with the flow" parent (which I know is a weird combo with my helicopter parent tendencies). I play each day by ear all in the name of "play" and "experiencing childhood" with my kids. I love to be spontaneous and keep our lives free for whatever we *feel* like doing.

You know what does not mix with a free range mama? Toddlers and preschoolers.

When we can't fix their problem or heal their heartbreak

August 1, 2017

Last night my son lost his stuffed tiger. We talked and talked about all the places he'd taken him and he was nowhere to be found. It took him over 3 hours to fall asleep and he was inconsolable.

My heart ached as I listened to him talk and cry about tiger, not understanding why I couldn't fix the problem. I wanted to fix it so bad, but I just couldn't. I looked everywhere. We texted grandma to see if tiger was there, but she looked all over and tiger was no where to be found. I couldn't help him and I couldn't comfort him. We were both weary and tired and no closer to finding tiger.

To the mama who never dreamed of being a mother but now is one

July 31, 2017

I didn't always dream of having babies. I fell into this role like Alice down the rabbit hole - terrified and ecstatic, unsure and amazed all at once. This change from an egocentric existence to living and breathing for another life did not always feel "worth it." I had days of questioning not only my abilities as a mother, but my decision to take it on in the first place.

#MyMommingStory: Everyday moms sharing their stories to encourage other moms and create a culture of empathy

July 27, 2017

"But being a stay-at-home mom was the loneliest kind of lonely, in which she was always and never by herself." - Barbara Kingsolver

Motherhood is isolating.

Even with all of the park meetups and community classes where you are around other parents and kids, there is still an emptiness that comes with being a mom.

The parenting habit that changed my threenager's attitude

July 26, 2017

I hated working for other people. Nearly every job I had came with a boss who micromanaged. Anyone who ever had a micromanaging boss, knows how suffocating and ineffective that management strategy can be. I always felt like I was on the brink of getting in trouble, which in turn made me so anxious that I would mess up and get in trouble. Or sometimes I would just say eff it and do things the way I thought they should be done because I knew I'd get in trouble no matter what. It was a never-ending cycle.

I recently realized the same thing was happening with my threenager.

Sometimes shit hits the fan and then some more shit hits it and then pretty soon you forget shit is on the fan so you turn the fan on and everyone is covered in shit | momming is hard

When you don't feel like a "Supermom"

July 25, 2017

Yesterday we hit the trifecta of home ownership issues. Do you notice how, like with famous people dying, house issues hit in 3s? The air conditioning went out. A handful of electrical outlets decided to stop working, including the one our fridge likes to be plugged into. Then someone (*cough*me*cough*) left a rotisserie chicken carcass in our outdoor trash and it is now infested with maggots which are becoming flies which are wanting to get into our house because all of our windows are open. #firstworldproblems, I know.

To the mama of a "spirited" (read: strong-willed) child

July 24, 2017

"I see those moms who are bending down to their kid's level, speaking in a soft tone as their child quietly does what they say. How come that doesn't work for me?" I shared with my mom the other day as I was lamenting over the fact that I'm not the quiet, gentle-spirited mother I always dreamt I'd be.

"Those moms are just different than you." My mom explained that softer quieter souls breed softer quieter (aka more submissive) children. "Your home will always be a little more volatile than other homes, because you are...spirited."

We've been married 7 years today

July 23, 2017

They say there is a 7 year itch. Well, I've got an itch and this guy is the only one who can scratch it. Yes, I understand that sounds dirty and I don't even care.

Sarah Knox | founder of momming is hard mommingishard.com & @mommingishard

Friday Introductions: Sarah Knox, Founder of @mommingishard

July 21, 2017

I'm Sarah. My husband and I met in the second grade and spent a decade as friends and almost another decade together. We have 2 kids (3yo son and 2yo daughter) and live in a suburb outside of Minneapolis. During the day, I stay at home with my kids and I rock the #naptimehustlefor my business as a fundraising auctioneer (more at @sarahtheauctioneer if you are curious what the heck that means). Basically I get to throw on a gown, heels and a set of false lashes every Friday and Saturday during gala season and help people spend their money so other people can have access to clean water or a safe place to go when they are abused. Think Robin Hood with a gavel and heels. JK, I don't use a gavel.

Encouragement for the mama who thinks she is failing

July 19, 2017

The biggest struggle in motherhood is probably our own stupid brains. Yes, our offspring cause some issues and wear us down with their nagging and need to eat 3 meals a day (which sometimes feels like ten million meals a day), but the thing that causes me the most strife is my brain.

6 Things you need to know about potty training

July 19, 2017

Potty training may be one of the most dreaded parts of parenting. Everyone and their mother (especially their mothers) have an opinion about potty training. There are countless books and "experts" claiming to have the secret. I call bull. There are a lot of expectations we put on potty training and now I'm sharing 6 things I wish someone had told me before I started potty training my kids:

Being strong for my daughter

July 18, 2017

I started exercising again yesterday. Like REALLY exercising. Since Cecilia's choking incident and my accompanying anxiety attacks last August, I have stuck with low impact exercise like walking and yoga for fear of overexerting myself.

I finally realized I wasn't doing myself any favors. I am by no means a #fitmom or someone who will ever build my whole life around fitness, but it is so important for me to be strong for my littles. Especially my daughter. So yesterday I picked up weightlifting again.

Sarah Knox | momming is hard

Momming is hard. Can I get an amen? The internet is full of too much bogus stuff. Crummy recipes, mason jar crafts, coupon clipping tips. To use an outdated YouTube reference: "ain't nobody got time for that!" At least I don't. I'm a mom of two toddlers (almost preschoolers) who stays home full time while growing my business as a fundraising auctioneer. I'm always looking for ways to stay motivated, laugh, grow my business, simplify my life, drink whiskey (I mean coffee), laugh and focus on what matters most to me.

I'm big on crushing goals and big on grace and this blog is all about finding the balance between the two.

Let's talk for a quick second about "doing it all" because no matter how much we talk about it, the myth still needs help busting. Scrolling through instagram can invoke thoughts of inferiority. Sometimes it seems like every mom is DIYing on the daily while skillfully balancing six pack abs with a six-figure salary and living large in their perfectly detailed and instagramable home. _____ How do they have it all together and do it all? They don't! None of us do. The secret to having it all is not to do it all. _____ I am so grateful to get to stay home with my kids everyday while also growing a business that I am passionate about. In order for me to find success, many things fall by the wayside. See the photo for example A. Example B would be my kitchen countertops and floor. Example C would be my baseboards or windows or anything else that is currently gathering dust in my home. _____ And it's not that I don't care, because I do. The fact is that it's not my top priority. There will be a day (and in my case, I can happily say that day is tomorrow) when my business will slow down a bit and I can focus on some of the messy areas of my life (literally). The clothes on the floor are clean, but not folded. The job was not finished to completion and perhaps for the past week everything I've worn has been a touch wrinkled, but that's just my life during the busy seasons for work. When I'm consulting 30 clients and conducting 2-5 auctions a week, and my kids still need to be fed and want me to sit with them and read, there is no margin in life for things like laundry or scrubbing the floors. _____ You can have it all, but you don't have to do it all. Some things have to wait and be left unfinished until you finish the real important stuff. Forgive yourself for the messes in your life and don't let them take away from the things that really matter.

These kids won't remember every second of their childhood. They will likely forget most of the moments we've had so far together. All of the magical and wonderful moments I've tried to create for them will be lost (let's just hope Instagram is still around so I can prove I was a kickass mom as my highly curated feed suggests). They will probably remember the things we did a lot though. The traditions we kept from year to year. _____ Traditions are so meaningful. They promote family closeness and provide a sense of stability throughout the course of a child's life. Traditions help solidify memories, especially since so many memories can tend to blend together. They may not remember which Black Friday they spent decorating the Christmas tree, but they WILL remember decorating the tree on the day after Thanksgiving and it will bring back fond memories of our family together. _____ They will browse through their old photo albums and see their Christmas pajamas that seem to make a star appearance throughout the month of December and remember how every year before bed on Thanksgiving night, we gave them a brand new pair of Christmas pajamas to wear the entire Holiday season. It may even be a tradition they carry on with their own kids. _____ This time of year is definitely ripe with opportunities to create traditions as a family, and I am constantly inspired by the impact traditions have on our kids. _____ To be honest, your kids won't remember that time you served them exclusively Mac & Cheese for a week or accidentally cursed when you stepped on a @lego. They probably won't remember the battle of wills you had with them over cleaning their room or doing their homework. They WILL remember how you helped them decorate a gingerbread house each year, or how read to them under the Christmas tree. They will remember the small things that you did year after year or week after week. They will remember the work you put in to make their lives special. _____ Share your special family Holiday traditions in the comments! I love hearing your ideas!

I'm grateful for the dishes piled up in my sink, because it means my family has been blessed with many hearty meals over the past 24 hours. _____ I'm grateful for the 6 loads of laundry I had to do earlier this week, because it means we are dressed in warm clothes and ready for anything the weather may send our way. _____ I'm grateful for the 3 hours of raking that still need to be done in our yard, because it means we have a yard that is big enough for my kids to run around playing tag or kick a soccer ball around. ____ I'm grateful for the pee on the floor around my toilet, because it means I have kids who are gaining more independence every day and I no longer have to change diapers (can I get an "Amen" here?)! ____ I'm grateful for having my quiet morning interrupted, because I got to have some quality one-on-one time with my main girl. ____ I'm grateful for my stretch marks and saggy boobs, because I have seen how incredible my body is and the wonders it is capable of (I grew and fed 2 humans with this lumpy body, y'all)! _____ I'm grateful for every Saturday night I have to spend working instead of home with my family, because it means I am able to use my God-given gifts to help deserving nonprofits raise the money they need to change our world. _____ I'm grateful for the constant noise in my house, because it means I'm never alone. _____ I'm grateful for my mortgage bill, because it means we have a beautiful home that is within our means to afford. _____ I'm grateful for the lines appearing around my eyes, because it means I have lived another day. _____ Now YOUR turn. I want to hear the unlikely things YOU are grateful for. Follow this format: "I am grateful for (SOMETHING NEGATIVE), because it means (TURN THAT NEGATIVE INTO A POSITIVE)." _____ Happy Thanksgiving, mamas.

Today is quite possibly the busiest grocery shopping day of the year, yet that didn’t stop me from taking my two kids to Trader Joe’s to get some last minute items for Thanksgiving tomorrow. ____ As soon as we crossed the threshold of the store, my daughter announced she had to use the bathroom. Of course. We hightailed it to the back of the store to their restrooms, but as soon as she realized how big the toilets were she refused to go. She then started screaming. At the top of her lungs. Like she’s never screamed before. For ten minutes. 😳 _____ We were that family. The ones with a toddler having the hugest meltdown in the history of meltdown asking to go home, while the evil mother (me) refused to leave. People stared. They likely judged. Some even empathized. ____ You know what the Trader Joe’s employers did? One offered to grab everything on my list for me. Another bribed my daughter with a sucker if she went pee in the potty and gave me a bouquet of flowers. What kind of heaven is this?! _____ This experience was so humbling. They showered me with gifts and service that was not deserved. We were creating a scene and very clearly ruining the shopping experience for other customers, but the Trader Joe’s employees saw me struggling to put my toddler at ease and mustering all the patience in my body to not lose my shit and they treated me with empathy and grace. _____ To the mama who is barely keeping it together, you are doing amazing. Your willingness and desire to serve your family is inspiring and my prayer is that you will know just how valuable you are. You are the ones who make the holidays freaking magical even when it sometimes it just feels like a freaking disaster. Have a HAPPY Thanksgiving 🦃 _____ SIDE NOTE: My daughter DID end up going pee at Trader Joe’s like the brave girl she is (don’t worry, her bladder did not explode)!! Special thank you to Ezra and all the employees at the Trader Joe’s in Bloomington, MN for the kindness you always show me and my kids ❤️

While this feed tends to be deep and sweet and encouraging, sometimes we need to take a quick break to share a PSA. Did you know that we have a nightly round of “Would you rather?” going on in the stories?! _____ It’s the truth, people. And it is super fun!! It has been awesome seeing your picks and preferences and even hearing many of your own “Would You Rather” suggestions! _____ Some of the rounds have included: _____ Would you rather lactate from your left boob for the rest of your life OR pee your pants anytime your child asks you why? _____ Would you rather have someone deep clean your house once a week OR cook all of your meals? _____ Would you rather walk around with wet spit-up on your shirt for the rest of your life OR never be allowed to shave your legs again? _____ Head to my stories and see what the “Would You Rather” question is for today and place your vote!! If you missed some of these other options, I’d love to hear what you would have picked in the comments! _____ If you have a suggestion you think would be fun to feature in the game, DM me and you will be tagged in the stories. _____ Can’t wait to hear what you choose!!

She so desperately chases after independence, as she watches her older brother get himself dressed and grab snacks with ease. She is confident in her skills, and like any human being, is frustrated when she can’t do it herself. _____ Some days it can be SO frustrating to let her try to do things on her own when the end result will always end with me zipping that damn zipper myself or climbing over her brother to get her car seat straps fastened properly. _____ Even when the outcome of her quest for independence usually ends with a panicked, “HELP ME!!!” It is important that my impatient side doesn’t keep me from letting her try. Because one day, sooner than later, she will do it on her own. The zipper. The car seat. Everything. _____ My daughter will not be one to seek help before trying it for herself. She will know that if she tries enough times, she will be able to do anything she sets her mind to. It starts here: at the front door, as we’re running late for preschool and that damn zipper is just sitting there so obviously waiting to be zipped by an experienced person. _____ Mamas, it can be so aggravating sometimes, but if they have the desire, let them try it for themselves, because they are capable and strong and creative problem-solvers. Let them try and even when they scream for independence only to cry for help a minute later, graciously step in and be their hero. _____ Double tap if you have a toddler who is “independent” 😉

This stage of life as a mom requires so many sacrifices. Maybe you gave up a career you loved because it made more financial sense to be home with your littles. Maybe you work full-time and have to sacrifice any time that is just yours, because every second you have goes to your work or precious babes. The idea of “self-care” is laughable. You likely have given up your body and definitely your mind (what were we just talking about, again?). _____ Motherhood, especially in these early years, is full of giving up pieces of you for a life that is different than you expected. Your nights are short and your days are long. You should have showered yesterday, but didn’t and still don’t expect to today. _____ But if there is one thing you can count on, it is that you will get through this and come out stronger on the other side. You can do hard things, mama. Sometimes in our days of wiping butts and faces and scrapping two day old Mac & Cheese off the kitchen floor, we forget that we are capable of the truly hard stuff. Sometimes those little tasks seem insignificant, but they are an ingredient of the gritty work that is motherhood. _____ To the mom who doesn’t know what day of the week it is, or the mom who hasn’t showered since Monday (or was it Sunday?). To the mama who was up all night with a crying infant, only to be woken up early by a curious and excited toddler. To you, scrolling on your phone, trying not to think about everything you *should* be doing right now. YOU HAVE GOT THIS! You were made to do hard things and you do them all the time. ____ Tell me about the strongest badassiest mama you know! If it’s you, that’s even better! Inspire us with your story of strength ❤️❤️ 📷: @kristendyer

My mom was always on the ball when it came to Christmas cards. Meaning she actually sent them out. I have maybe mailed Christmas cards 3 times in the 7 years we've been married. The purpose seems less important in a social media world. Maybe I am just heartless. (NOTE: I LOVE receiving my friends' cards and display them proudly through the new year). _____ I remember one year my mom had this idea to take our picture all in our PJs sitting in their bed with the poem "there were six in the bed and the little one said 'roll over! Roll over'..." written on the back. So there we all were my dad and us 4 kids in our handmade PJs and honest bedhead (we were usually a rag tag bunch, so I assume this was her leaning into it). _____ Then there was my mom. In a brand new bathrobe, a full face of make up and hair fresh out of the curlers like any good woman of the 90's. It was clear who the REAL star of our Christmas photo was. Her beauty clashed in the most glamorous way against our disheveled group all dog-piled on on the master bed. _____ This theme carried through most the decades of Christmas Card photos of our childhood (especially in those years before the digital camera). With 4 children, it really was too much to expect every child to have their eyes open or flashing a normal smile (looking at my sister 😜). She always did her best to try to get us to look at the camera and wear clothes that somewhat coordinated, but since children are unfortunately their own kind of people, we did what we wanted. So in the end, if she got a picture where she was a babe, that was the most she could ask for. ____ So here we are, 20 some years later, with my own offspring who when they aren't crying, were looking at squirrels in the distance. Literally zero pictures of the kids looking normal, so I take a page from my mother's book and go with the picture where I'm smiling normal and my hair looks fab. I am the mom now and I get to pick what photo we use. So here it is: my husband and me and the side of our kids' faces.

We've got ourselves a bad case of the buzzies today. _____ What are "the buzzies," you ask? It's when your kids are acting like little bitches (B for short), but you can't say that because you are a self-proclaimed wholesome parent, so you decide instead that they are a bunch of bees and therefore, have a bad case of the buzzies. Their 4:45am wake up time didn't help either. _____ Ya'll it's a rough one. Sibling rivalry is in full throttle today. Each child is taking their turn antagonizing the other. "Here, you can play with this toy! Actually, NOOOOOOO IT IS MINE!!!!" Sound familiar? ____ Having kids close in age is truly amazing. They are the best of friends, except when they are not. There are days where they play cohesively for hours and my heart swells along with my tear ducts as I take pride in my perfect parenting techniques. But, Lord knows I need a hearty helping of humble pie at least once a minute, so he lets our household wake up with a major case of the buzzies. ____ Today is requiring a ton of patience and grace to get through as I walk the fine line of mediating sharing and letting them figure it out themselves. My balance is probably way off, but that's where the grace comes in to play. Jesus said, "my grace is made perfect in your weakness." _____ The only way to be a perfect parent is by knowing you are not and leaning in to the perfect grace of The One who carries all our burdens. _____ What do you call it when your kids are having an unusually crabby day? Let me know in the comments. _____ Now, off to eat some carbs 🍩 🍕

Any #mompreneurs out there? _____ A little over 10 years ago, I made the brave (and naive) decision to sign up for a little thing called "Auctioneering School" and I had no idea where it would take me. _____ I drove my 1992 Honda Accord Station Wagon the 2 hours down to Mason City, IA to attend auction school after attending one auction. A single auction. One. Uno. Ein. Only to find out that almost everyone else in the class came from a family of auctioneers. Their daddy was an auctioneer AND their grand daddy AND their great granddaddy and so on and so forth. These people had been selling from the auction block since their birthday cards read in single digits. _____ Then there was me. On that very first day of auction school, the instructors made us get up on stage and do our "chant" in front of a small group of our peers. The student who went in front of me was 20 and had been auctioneering since he was 10. His chant resembled a waltz comprised of numbers and to this day is one of my favorite sounds. When it was my turn I not only refused to go up, but I wept. Full on ugly cry. Eventually they made me stand up and hold the mic and I counted to 10 as fast as I could and sat down, mortified. _____ I thought about getting back in my car, driving home and calling the whole thing off. At least it would make for a good story. "Remember that time I went to auction school for a day?" But before I got in my car to head back to my room in town, that student with the waltz-like auction chant, came up to me and said, "Anyone can learn to talk like an auctioneer, but you can't learn to smile like you and that's why people REALLY bid." Although in hindsite, it sounds like a cheesy pickup line, I promise you that sentence changed my life forever. It was all it took for me to come back the next day. And the next. And the next, until I had completed the course. _____ I cried every day of auction school, but I look back and am so glad I ignored everything that made me "unqualified" and stayed. Stop paying attention to what you are unqualified for and focus on what makes you qualified. Maybe a smile is all it will take to build your business and change your life.

Amazon Associates Disclosure

Sarah Knox, of mommingishard.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com