Dear Stretch Denim,
You are a bad friend. You initially won me over with your yoga pants-esque elasticity and small size. I bought you at the height of salad season, so proud to own that tiny number on your tag. Then, as we moved into fall (aka carb season) together, you still hugged my waist and hips without judgement. You thought you were being kind, but you were just lying to me. Yesterday I put on your cool older sister, REAL JEANS, and that bitch told me I'd gotten fat. She was so mad at me, she refused to button. It hurt, but it was what I needed to hear. I'm sticking with thick, uncomfortable traditional denim from here on out. Stretch jeans, we had a good run, but I don't have room in my life for liars.
This is your reminder to choose your jeans and your friends wisely. Surround yourself with people who will tell you the truth even if it hurts so that you don't stray too far down a lazy path. They say you are the average of the 5 people you spend your most time with. So choose wisely.
I have to note that I mentioned that 5 people comment to a friend recently and she looked at me and said "Shit! I'm a toddler!" 😂😂😂😂 Needless to say I need to keep her on my top 5 list forever.