I spent most of last week in a zombie-like state due to my angel baby deciding to act not-so-angelic. Particularly at night. Sleep deprivation is like emotional sabotage, am I right? Like every other parents of babies, we kept making up reasons why she wasn't sleeping as if we knew: She's teething, she's growing, sleep regression, etc.
Like normal, none of our guesses were correct. So what was causing this sleep thief to keep us up into the wee hours of the morning? Because my milk decided to up and dry up. I realized this when I looked in the mirror and noticed my normally awesome and gorgeous milk jugs were looking extra national geographic-y that day. I immediately started pumping during my normal feeding times only to find I would only get one ounce total from both milk makers every three hours. At first I was udder-ly (see what I did there...cow jokes) horrified that I had not been giving my sweet baby girl all she needed, but then I praised God for formula.
Yes. I literally thanked God for formula.
You read that right, I praised God. Like I literally prayed and thanked God for making amazingly smart sciencey people for coming up with a nutritional alternative for breast milk. While, us moms can go on and on about breast is best and the benefits and allegedly how much smarter it makes our babies (which does it really? or is that just correlation?), sometimes breast feeding just doesn't work. Your milk may never come in, your baby may never latch, or, like me, your milk may just completely dry up leaving your sweet baby hungry as a hippo. For when these things don't work, God provided us with Formula (yes God gave it to us by creating super smart and passionate people to create it). No, it's not always organic. And it has a high sugar content (so does breastmilk btw) and is sometimes made with high fructose corn syrup, but it is still such a better option than your baby starving to death. So PRAISE God for formula.
I wish I could have breastfed her until she was 12 months, it just was not happening. I tried all of the things that all of the blogs and books told me to do to increase my supply, but alas nothing worked. So instead of beating myself up about it, I am feeling so thankful I can still provide her with the nutrients she needs to not only survive, but also thrive.